Tuesday, January 7, 2014

discovering me

The new year. A time for new beginnings, fresh starts and facing the future. It's also the time to cut old ties, end unproductive cycles and saying good bye to negative people and things.
This new year starts with a new moon. Something that hasn't  happened in 19 years. This year is pointing all signs towards starting anew.
The year of the Wood Horse. A time to act fast, buy that home, launch that business, travel the world, make a big purchase, get a promotion at work, have a breakthrough – take a leap and fly. If it’s right, then there’s nothing to think about. Just follow instincts.
Over the past week I've been preparing and meditating on what I want from this new year. What I want from myself. I'm not just a mother and a wife but also a woman. About 2 weeks ago, my father-in-law fussed me out saying it's great that you have sacrificed the past 6 years for your kids, to your marriage and husband but now is the time for you.
Aside from a few people and those that have been seeing me on social media, I have been using this past year to slowly discover what I want for myself. I've been on the path of returning my hair to its Goddess given kinks, coils and curls. (February 11th will make my one year mark part a relaxer. Woohoo!) I've slowly been losing weight, and cleaning my eating by cutting red meats, sugars and simple carbs.

This year my word will be PUSH.
Really it's self explanatory. I'm going to go strive to MY happiness.
Far too many years I've let the voices of my parents and their spouses and my husband's family control my internal peace.
This year, like I did in 2009, I'll be cutting out family who really don't care about the happiness,  betterment or peace of my family while reconnecting with the elder members.  I've already gotten their numbers and plan on making a conscious effort to open my family and heart to them. My moon sign is Scorpio, so y'all know how hard this is.

This is my year of rebuilding and refining myself. I can't wait to see how the goddess, particularly Kali (she's been calling me for a while), will lead me.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Winter Solstice plans

Winter solstice is around the bend and I am so unprepared. AAAGGHHH! Hubs went out of town for 5 days last week due to a family death. We haven't decorated the tree because that's a family event. Usually we put it up the day after Thanksgiving but our Thanksgiving was horrible.  Georgia isn't normally a super cold state but this year it went to record lows of 23. This resulted in our entire neighborhood's water pipes freezing and bursting.  We were without water for almost 9 hrs.  The only thing I had cooked was turkey everything else required water.
To add to the I burned my arm taking out the turkey (I still have the scab), I was washing my hair at the time so I had conditioner left in it (which meant I wasn't leaving the house) and the person we rent a room to had to go to the ER because he broke 4 of his teeth. (Don't ask me how. I have nothing positive to say.)  Oh! Did I forget to mention Nene got the entire house sick with her school germs. The entire week was doing recovery and sanitizing.

Anyway.... Back to Winter Solstice, this week will be pulling out miracles.

This year we are also plan on doing Kwanzaa. I haven't got anything for that either. It's a mess over here.  I'm hoping to have all pulled together soon. The goddess will have to give me some supernatural help. If not, there is always the thought and next year.

When we do finally get to the tree and decorate the house I'll post plenty of pictures as well as pictures and recipes to all the food we make. If all else fails, my kitchen will stay cranking out baked goods. We have made so far, devil's food chocolate cake, brownies and butter yellow cake. I still have yule cookies to make and hopefully a yule log.

What are on your plans? Any one rules baking a storm? I want to hear about it.

Mrs. Ebonee

Monday, December 16, 2013

What's the haps, Mrs. E?

It's been a busy and roller coaster time.

Amir is becoming the ever adventurous little boy. He definitely has both our stubborn streaks. He isn't very vocal but his facial expressions and little finger  let's you know if you weren't following his cues.

Ms. N has been very busy in cheerleading. I'm quite thankful for this break between football, competition and basketball season. She is not.
 Speaking of...she has placed  3rd in both competitions she and her group performed. She has also been given the "happiest" cheerleader award for her squad. She got a little statue and everything. She has already told daddy he needs to build her a shelf for her trophies.

As for me, house work that never ceases to end. I am on a two part goal for my physical health. The first being to reclaim my stomach. I exclusively pumped which helped keep my tummy pretty flat despite my dreaded flap. Once I stopped my muscles have got to the wind and I look pregnant. Not a good look. So... Come my bday,  Oct 6th,  I want to be able to wears 2 piece.  Nothing scandalous but to show I'm only 28 not in my 40s. (Not that there is anything wrong with 40. I just don't want to look it at 28.) Second being, I drop at least 3 pant sizes. I'll still be in the 200+ Club but it'll be a healthy distribution of muscle versus fat.

As for hubs, his mother's mother recently passed and he is feeling with the matriarch of his family dying before setting his kids.  Any healing and positive vibes would be appreciated to him and his family.

All in all, it's been a time.  What has been going on in going on in your neck of the woods? Please let me know. I want to hear.

Love && light,
Mrs. Ebonee

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Light the jack o' laterns!!

  This is part of The Sunday Stew over at Kallan's blog....go on over and check it out! 

One of my favorite activities to do with my kids is carving pumpkins. Nene has been really excited all this month to carve her pumpkin and see it glowing on the porch when she comes home from practice. It's about as exciting to her as actually going out to get candy.

This year Little Man was able to help (reality: threw guts on the floor, bang my knuckles with the spoon and pour guts back into completely cleaned out gourds). He had tons of fun watching the huge orange vegetables get turned into silly characters.

Mr. Man Cub's pumpkin. Once finished he had fun beating it with a spoon and filling it with carved out pieces and guts.

Ms. Cheer Princess designed her pumpkin herself. I told her next year under CLOSE supervision I will have her carve out her own pumpkin next year. You best believe that pumpkin will be a smaller.

What what about the seeds?!

We roasted them of course!! After tediously separated them from the guts. we are gobbling them up. Next year, I must find a better system for doing this...

After separating them. I rinsed them to get any bits of pumpkin I missed then paper toweled them dry. You could have also just let them air dry but I rather not find seeds every where due to a toddler trying to plant them (suggested by his bis sis).
After drying, put about a 1  tbsp of olive (or whichever) oil and coat the seeds, sprinkle some salt and set them in the oven at 250 for 45-60 minutes.

What traditions do you do with the kids every year? I'm looking to do more.

Mrs. Ebonee

Monday, October 14, 2013

Yoga breathing and Paleo eating

As promised, I am back to tell y'all about how I went as natural (green living/non medicated) as much as possible throughout my pregnancy and childbirth.

First, let me preface this by saying, discuss everything with your doctor. If your doctor sees you cannot manage a natural(non medicated) pregnancy or childbirth without endangering yourself ans/or your child Please listen! I am not a doula, midwife, RN, or any other medical personel. My experience is truly my experience.

Now, that we have that out the way. I walked allot and practiced yoga throughout my pregnancy. I focused mainly on the breathing. One of yoga's main focuses is on your breathing. You cant do the different poses without air and so it is with labor. You have to feed yourself and your child the breathe of life. The meditation and focus it requires it just breathe and in and out seems so simple when all is quiet. Except when you have a kid yelling about where her other shoe is, a husband who cant find his keys and a being inside you using your bladder as a trampoline. Focusing only on the simple tasks of breathing isnt so easy any more. It requires you to tune into your inner being. The mother that may or may not have been awakened inside you. It demands you listen to that still voice tell you everything else doesn't matter. Just breathe.

This is a lesson that carries on far beyond the labor and delivery ward. I also used this a lot while breastfeeding. I was unable to physically do so my a deformity of my breasts. He couldnt latch properly which made physically breastfeeding really, really painful. After seeking help from a Lactation Consultant, I had three choices. The first was stop breastfeeding all together because after a week Amir had dropped a lb and developed jaundice. The second was continue physically breastfeeding with the possibility I would dry up. I would have had to use a shield which would have cut the stimulation required to make more milk. The third and final choice was exclusively pump. This means only using the breast pump with no physical feeding required. I chose the last. Making this choice was one of the hardest decisions I made since having my son. It essentially meant feeding twice, 20 minutes to pump and another 15/20 minutes to feed Amir from the bottle. Focusing enough to pump definitely required my use of yoga breathing. Crying  babies, growling stomach, both daughter and husband seeking attention all had to be on hold in order for me to feed him. Blocking it all out was trying to say the least. BUT I did it! For 10 months I was able to give him solely breast milk. I truly thank the Goddess for the wisdom, strength and patience to have gone as long as I had.

So now that we have the yoga breathing down. How did you manage to stay off insulin your entire pregnancy?
I wont say simply because eating the Paleo lifestyle while pregnant is nothing simple. The paleo lifestyle requires the cutting out/limiting the eating of bread (white and wheat), most fruits (high sugar content like strawberries and grapes), no beans (to include my beloved peanut butter), sugar (agave nectar as well) and dairy. Now I know y'all are looking at me like what in the world did you eat then. Everything else. Meats, fish, eggs, veggies, white and sweet potato, coconut, honey, and the lower sugar fruits. Was it hard, heck yea, did I still indulge in the sweets? Of course, but I kept it to a minimum. Because I was diagnosed as diabetic I had to stick my finger 5 times a day, this meant I was eating every 2-4 hrs. I ate lots of oats, greek yogurt (yes it's not on the paleo plan but I wasn't about to make coconut custard/yogurt from scratch), fruits, and drank even more water. When I first met the nutritionist, my numbers were off the chart. By the next week, with implementing my food changes, my numbers were back in normal range. They prescribed me insulin for the "just-in-case" but I never had to use it. My nutritionist and doctor said as long as I was able to control it through eating I was fine not to. I didn't need any medication until my last week when no matter how I ate my numbers were still going wonky. This was to expected and I was put on the pill for of insulin.

All of this is to say, that when you stay attune with your body...and listening to sound medical advice, you can have a natural (green living/non medicated) pregnancy and labor. In case you are thinking I'm one of those blessed thin woman. I'm not. I'm a nice curvy sz 20 and am in my mid 20's. I mention this because far too many plus sized women get badgered to believe their size will stop/hinder them from having the pregnancy and labor they want. It won't nor shouldn't and if you have a doctor/midwife who feels otherwise, I highly suggest you find a new one.

Mrs. Ebonee

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Reintroduction, my return from maternity leave

I have recently, well a year ago, given birth to a little mischievous boy named Amir. His name means Prince or Leader, something the African-American community greatly needs. He is born a Leo and in the year of the dragoon so both should give him plenty of boosting to go far. Nefertiti is cheering for the second year and is really loving it. I know a lot of people have asked if I'm going to be raising her in The Craft. I've decided that I would let her decide but I would still have her be apart of all my rituals and practices. I'm mostly a kitchen witch so this will be easy. I plan on doing the same for Amir as well.

Last I left you in May of last yr in preparations for his arrival. He made his grand appearance July 29. My pregnancy was A LOT different than with Nefertiti. This go around I had gestational diabetes which is no fun at all. I was able to stay off any insulin medication till the last week by keeping my diet under control. I'm really quite proud of myself for that because if it had been up to the doctors I would have been on insulin from the start. I was in labor for 3 days prior to going into active labor on that Sunday. When i walked into the hospital I was already 4/5cm and ready to get him out. After 5 hours of labor he was born 9 lb 1oz. Agh! The biggest baby on the board. I went unmedicated aside from assistance of pitiocen to help with my contractions. I'll go deeper on how I dealt with my pregnancy diabetes and through an unmedicated labor in another post.

As far as the rest of the year, I have been struggling to adjusting to having 2 children. It has not been easy to say the least. Hence the LONG maternity leave but it has been both challenging and rewarding. I wouldn't change it in the world.

 While gone I have been writing a few posts for Kallan's Sunday Stew. My most recent post was last Sunday, my preparation for Samhain. I will also be a contributing writer to Samhain Sirens.*pst, go check them both out....now! I'll be here*

I have more posts to come and I promise I wont leave yall hanging in the wind. Tata for now...

Mrs. Ebonee

Thursday, October 10, 2013

The REAL reason friends/lovers forsake us

This topic was a special request. She wanted to know why the minute we tell our friends or potential lovers we are not Christian we get the cold shoulder.
 Simple, slavery and its mind set.

It was beat into us before even crossing the ocean, White Jesus. Leave our ancestors, language, culture, identity behind. If we tried to keep a bit of ourselves from the Master we were beaten or worse. 
 We were made to memorize scriptures demonizing anything that was white. We separated by the tones of our skin to divide us.
You would think that in the year 2013, our own people would realize that Christianity, to include Islam. is not us. It not who we were. It's not who our ancestors were and not who should be keeping in our lives. Christianity has made anything outside of the Trinity a false idol. They have destroyed the our families. Yet we still plaster White Jesus across our walls, churches and hearts. We argue saying that his color doesnt matter yet don't buy any Black Virgin Marys.

The reason we become loners, secretive and hide online is because even today the slave mentality rules with perms, bleaching cream and the "war on drugs". Until our friends and lover become enlightened to the reality in front of them we will continue to cold shouldered and black listed.